11/11- Deep Lez is a sapphic event held on the first Tuesday of every month. It’s usually a pretty chill event, but between me and my messy gay friends, it’s calm but anything but boring. I’m kind of back on the scene, kind of not. Last Deep Lez, I made out with K. K is, to my knowledge, pretty into me, but I’m not really into them. Honestly, I’m not very attracted to them personally, but they are objectively an attractive person with sex appeal. But I’m just not feeling a connection.

I walked into Big Daddy’s and all my friends cheered. I hang with the hottest white lesbians in the city. They are so sweet and I love them so much. O and K, who are friends, were both there. I pretended like I didn’t see O at first because I didn’t really want to deal with the drama. She has a big crush on me, and I think she thinks I feel the same, but I don’t. I do find her attractive, though. But I think I’m passed the point of crushing or liking someone I don’t know well. I’m not in the business of fantasizing what could or could not be at this point in my life.

I came to Deep Lez to hang out with C, my breakup buddy. We kiss sometimes, but it never means anything. I have a baby crush on them because they’re so charming, but I don’t want to be romantic with another white person anytime soon. I need some time to recover from D and that whole situation. C was not in a super flirtatious mood, which was fine. I talked to K for a while and talked a lot to a potential new friend, Kayla who’s a lesbian AKA match made!! I switched from regular Ranch Water to a Whiskey Sour because it felt like a calm and sultry night. I only had 2 drinks and 2 cigs but I was feeling it.

When I was outside, I talked to Ori and her friends, but she’s kind of into the whole negging/chase-me-around thing, which is not going to happen. When we were talking, she said that she couldn’t tell if she loved me or hated me. A BIT HARSH IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. I got distracted and left the conversation, promising to speak again. Toward the end of the night, I offered to give K a ride home. I did and she asked me to come inside. We had sex, it was fun, goofy, and hot, but that’s about it. I don’t think that I want to do it again. We talked about astrology, then I went home. I don’t regret it, but I could’ve just not done it. I was just doing shit.

I hit up O the next day for our first date.